I met Colonel Rathore at a wedding. We were sitting at the table waiting for the food to be served. We started talking. He asked me what I do. I told him. Then I asked him about himself.
He said he is retired from the Army after thirty-two years. He said it in a simple way without any drama.
I do not know why. I felt like talking to him about my son. I told him that my son had just cleared the AISSEE ↗ exam and he was going to join Sainik School in a months. I was feeling proud. Also scared.
Colonel Rathore put his plate down. Looked at me. He said, "Can I tell you something honestly?"
What he told me over the twenty minutes changed the way I think about my sons future. I want to share it with every Sainik School parent.
Colonel Rathore said, "Stop treating your son like he is going to suffer."
He told me that most parents send their child to Sainik School and then feel guilty. They think their kid will be crying alone in a hostel room. They call the school every day and want to take the child out after the first tough week.
Colonel Rathore said, "Your son is not going to prison he is going to a place that will teach him things you cannot teach at home."
He explained that Sainik School is tough, but not cruel. The routine is strict with training, classes, sports, study hours and lights out by 10. This structure builds habits that last a lifetime.
Colonel Rathore said, "The first month is hard the second month is better and by the month your son will not want to come home on holidays."
He said this with a laugh.
Then Colonel Rathore said, "Do not fix every problem from outside."
He told me that some parents call the school if their child gets scolded by a senior. Some parents complain if the food is not perfect. Some even try to get treatment for their kid.
He said, "The moment you start doing that you are undoing everything the school is trying to build."
Colonel Rathore told me about his son, who went to a military school. In the term a senior cadet made fun of his accent. His son called home crying. Colonel Rathore did not call the Principal.
He told his son to handle it himself to talk to the cadet and stand his ground.
If it got really bad he could go to his housemaster. He should try to solve it himself first. His son did this. Within two weeks the senior cadet became his friend.
Colonel Rathore said, "That one moment taught my son more than any classroom ever did."
Then he said, "Your job is to prepare your son before he goes to Sainik School."
He asked me about the Sainik School coaching my son had done. I told him about the written exam preparation, the tests, the Maths practice and the GK revision. He nodded.
Then he asked, "Did anyone prepare him for living alone?"
I did not know what to say. Colonel Rathore was not being rude he was being real. He told me that Sainik School entrance coaching focuses on clearing the exam. Parents also need to prepare their child for life after the exam.
He said, "Teach your son to fold his clothes make him wash his own plate after dinner let him pack his own school bag. Stop doing everything for him."
He said, "If your son can manage himself at home he will manage himself at Sainik School. If he cannot no amount of exam coaching will help him survive there."
Colonel Rathore also said, "Letters work better than phone calls."
He said that when his son was in the hostel he wrote him letters, not ones, just five or six lines. He wrote about what was happening at home about the dog and about his food.
He said, "Phone calls are emotional the child hears your voice and gets homesick.. A letter he reads it smiles, puts it under his pillow and moves on with his day."
The last thing Colonel Rathore said was "He will come back a person let him."
He said, "When your son comes home after his term he will be different. He will stand straighter talk less but say more. He might not hug you the way he used to do not panic, that's not distance that is growth."
I looked at my son sleeping that night. I was not scared. I was ready.
Colonel Rathore did not give me a study plan he did not talk about exam preparation or marks. He gave me something he gave me the right way to think about this journey.
If you are a parent whose child is heading to Sainik School find your Colonel Rathore talk to someone who has been, through it it will change everything.
